From FOMO to Fulfillment
Turning Envy into Your Own Adventure
“Test our time is limited, don’t waste it living someone else’s life.”
Feeling left out?
You have a good life—a cozy home, a loving family, and a stable job. But beneath the surface of this seemingly perfect existence lurks a restless feeling. Every day, you scroll through Instagram, eyes wide with envy as yet another family is backpacking through Europe, or living the dream in a beachside villa. Your life, with its school drop-offs, weekend grocery runs, and endless emails, seems pale in comparison to the glossy, sun-drenched lives being showcased online.
This nagging feeling that something is missing has a name: FOMO, or Fear of Missing Out. It isn’t just a whisper in your ear; it’s a full-blown villain, constantly reminding you that while everyone else is out there living the life you want, you are stuck in the monotony of everyday routine. FOMO is relentless, with its cunning trickery, always there to highlight what you don’t have and blind you to the beauty that is right in front of you.
We’ve battled FOMO ourselves (many times) and emerged stronger on the other side. We know all too well the tricks that FOMO uses and we’re ready to help you break free from its clutches.
Back in 2020, after years of seriously discussing the possibility of becoming digital nomads, we had a plan and a date to start our adventure. We were spending our weekends visiting RV shows trying to find the right rig for our adventures. We were researching how to homeschool and work remotely. We even had our favorite YouTube channels that inspired us and helped us find the answers to our many questions.
We were set to begin our full-time travels on July 1, 2020. That date, displayed on the wall for each of us to see each day, got us both nervous and excited for the adventure ahead. The same month we’d planned to put our house on the market in preparation for our launch, Covid changed daily life for everyone. Office workers were sent home to work remotely, schools shut down in favor of “distance learning,” and scores of people (suddenly having unprecedented flexibility) hit the road in campers and RVs to travel all across the United States.
While we were still stuck in our home with all of our big plans, it seemed like everyone was out there living OUR dream. While we waited for the right time to sell our home, RV prices just kept getting higher and campgrounds and national parks kept getting more and more crowded. It felt unfair and we all had a serious case of FOMO!
What is the Fear of Missing Out?
The Fear of Missing Out, at its core, stems from the human desire for connection and belonging. We are social creatures who thrive on being part of a community. Humans have a deep-rooted desire to be part of shared experiences in order to affirm our place within a community or social circle. Watching others, who we may view as our peers, engaging in activities or adventures can trigger a sense of exclusion. We fear that we’re doing something wrong if we can’t keep in step with them and have similar experiences.
Social media amplifies this fear by providing a constant stream of the best highlights from other people's lives. We take those perfect images and unfairly compare them to our everyday, routine moments. This comparison can lead to feelings of inadequacy and a nagging sense that we're not living life to the fullest. What was once a tool meant to make us feel connected with friends and loved ones now often leads to us feeling an absence of connection and a lack of belonging.
The Thief of Joy
FOMO is sneaky! It tricks you into believing that everyone else is living a more exciting, more fulfilling life than you are. You see their perfectly curated photos and think, “Why can’t I be doing that? What am I doing wrong?” But here’s the thing: FOMO is a master of deception. It highlights what you lack and blinds you to what you have. And in doing so, it robs you of the joy that’s right in front of you.
When you’re so focused on what others are doing, it’s easy to overlook the beauty of your own life. Maybe you’re not trekking through Patagonia or exploring ancient ruins in Greece, but that doesn’t mean your life isn’t rich with its own adventures. Your everyday moments—the ones that don’t make it onto social media—are just as valuable.
Here are some ways that FOMO affects your joy. Can you relate to any of these in your life?
Comparison – Constantly comparing your life to others can lead to dissatisfaction. Seeing and hearing about others' achievements, vacations, and events can make us feel left out or that our lives are less exciting. Even scrolling through Pinterest or watching TV can make us feel like we are lacking something that we simply must have in order to be fulfilled. Sometimes this phenomenon can begin early in life, long before social media. It could be sibling rivalry or unfair comparisons that parents or teachers make that leave you feeling inadequate.
Anxiety – Worrying about missing out on events, experiences, or opportunities can create anxiety and stress. In today’s world, we’re often given such an abundance of choices for where to eat, what to buy, or how to spend our time. With so many options, we can become so paralyzed by the fear of making the “wrong” choice that we hesitate to make any choice at all.
Distraction – Focusing on what others are doing can distract you from enjoying your own life and being present in the moment. Hyper-connectivity is a huge distraction in itself. It’s so easy to pick your phone up to check the time and soon realize that you’ve just spent an hour scrolling social media, reading the news, or engaging in something other than you should be. It can hinder work performance and even damage relationships.
Decreased Self-Esteem – Feeling that you're not living up to others' experiences can lower your self-esteem and confidence. It can create a persistent sense of unfulfillment, as you may feel that your life isn’t as exciting or successful as those you see around you. The pressure to keep up with others can undermine your self-worth, making you question whether you’re living up to expectations. Over time, this constant comparison can erode your confidence, making you doubt your own decisions and achievements.
Impulsivity – Acting on FOMO can lead to making hasty decisions that may not align with your true desires or values. It can lead you to say “yes” to things you might not actually want to do, simply out of the fear of missing out on something exciting or important. The urgency created by FOMO can cause you to act without fully considering the consequences, leading to choices you might later regret. It can also lead you to constantly chase the next big thing, making it difficult to be satisfied with your current situation. This impulsivity can result in a cycle of dissatisfaction, where you’re always seeking the next experience rather than enjoying the present moment.
Strategies to Overcome FOMO
It’s easy to get caught up in the idea that you need to be somewhere else, doing something else, to be truly happy. But the truth is, the present moment is all you really have. When you’re fully engaged in the here and now, you’ll find that life is a lot more fulfilling.
Take a deep breath. Look around you. What’s happening in your life right now that you can savor? Maybe it’s watching your kids play in the backyard or the feeling of satisfaction after completing a home project. These moments might not seem like grand adventures, but they’re the building blocks of a life well-lived.
So, how do you combat this constant nagging feeling that you’re missing out? Here are a few strategies to help you overcome FOMO and embrace the journey you’re on:
Practice Gratitude – Gratitude shifts your focus from what you lack to what you have. You could start a daily gratitude journal where you jot down things you're thankful for. This simple practice of reminding yourself what you have can help reframe your mindset and cultivate contentment with your current circumstances. I meet virtually with a friend on a weekly basis to do a Bible study together. In addition to our study, we always make time to share the blessings in our lives. Speaking them out loud helps us take inventory of the good things that are happening, even during challenging times.
Reduce Social Media Consumption – As mentioned above, social media can invite unwanted comparisons of your everyday life to carefully curated highlights from other people’s best moments. Too much time looking at everyone else’s reels can leave you feeling like you don’t measure up.
Set specific times during the day to check social media rather than constantly scrolling. Try setting limits on your phone to make you aware of how quickly an hour of social media flies by. Consider a digital detox for a month, a weekend, or even just a day to reconnect with the real world around you.
Cultivate Self-Awareness – A healthy sense of self-awareness helps us stay grounded in the present moment. Engage in activities like meditation, deep breathing exercises, or even walking (without music or a podcast) to train your mind to focus on the now. These practices can help you become more aware of your thoughts and reduce anxiety about missing out. They’re called “practices” because learning how to meditate or be present takes practice.
To be effective, you need to commit to it and spend time working on developing these skills. A few years ago, during a very challenging personal time, Kevin started practicing Transcendental Meditation. It was a huge investment of time to be trained and then to consistently practice. Once he got the hang of it, he began to see major improvements in how he handled stress.
Prioritize Meaningful Connections – Invest time in nurturing your relationships in-person and find ways to connect with friends and family in a meaningful way when you can’t be together. Plan family outings, have regular dinners with friends, or join community groups. Spend more time engaging in real-life interactions and activities that bring you joy and fulfillment.
Traveling and homeschooling can be challenging when it comes to fulfilling social interaction. Rachel has found her “people” in a weekly international online homeschool group through Outschool. These kids can’t wait to get together each week to share their wins, passions, and stories. She’s even planning to meet up with 1 or 2 of them in-person when we get to England soon!
Set Realistic Expectations – Remember that what you see on social media is often a highlight reel, not the full picture. Set realistic expectations for your own life and understand that everyone has ups and downs. Understand that no one can do everything. Everyone has limitations, and it’s okay to miss out on some things.
Create Your Own Adventures – Instead of longing for others' experiences, create your own adventures. Plan a weekend getaway, explore a new hobby, or discover hidden gems in your local area. Embrace the excitement of your unique journey. Plan activities that you enjoy and look forward to, ensuring your schedule is filled with fulfilling experiences. This summer, Ellie and I each had so many friends who were overseas enjoying countries we are looking forward to visiting. Instead of allowing ourselves to feel frustrated about being stationary for most of the summer, we threw ourselves into the planning process for our next year of travel. (Ellie even got to take her first solo flight to visit some good friends out in California!)
Reflect on Your Values – Identify what truly matters to you. Reflecting on your core values can help you focus on activities and relationships that align with your authentic self, reducing the impact of FOMO. Prioritize your values and interests. Determine what’s truly important to you and focus on those things; align your activities and goals with your values and interests.
Be Kind to Yourself – Practice compassion for yourself and recognize that it's normal to feel FOMO sometimes. Acknowledge it without judgment, but try to move on quickly. Regularly reflect on your accomplishments, positive experiences, and amazing adventures to remind yourself that someone else may be feeling FOMO over what you’re doing.
Start Where You Are
So, how did we deal with our serious case of FOMO in 2020? We pivoted! Since everyone else was RVing throughout the United States, we set our sites more globally.
Once international travel was a little safer, we booked a flight to France to take our first step into being full-time travelers. Our 3 months of touring France while homeschooling and working remotely gave us the confidence we needed to start planning our full-time nomadic lifestyle. Instead of letting circumstances shut down our dream, we just changed the location and mode of travel and forged ahead.
Just because you’re not jetting off to a new destination every month doesn’t mean you can’t live a life filled with adventure. Adventure isn’t just about far-flung places and exotic locales; it’s about a mindset. It’s about being curious, taking risks, and finding excitement in the everyday.
What’s something you’ve always wanted to do but haven’t yet? Maybe it’s exploring a nearby hiking trail, trying out a new hobby, or planning a road trip to a neighboring state. Every adventure starts with a first step. Eventually, that first step will lead to a second and those small steps will add up to a journey that is uniquely yours.
Remember, the people you see online—those who seem like they’re living the life you want—are on their own journey. You don’t know the challenges they’ve faced or the sacrifices they’ve made to get there. And comparing yourself to them won’t get you any closer to your own dreams.
Your Story Matters
At the end of the day, your story is the only one that matters. It doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s, and it doesn’t need to meet anyone else’s expectations. Embrace where you are, make the most of what you have, and take those small steps towards the life you want. Before you know it, you’ll look back and realize that you were never really missing out—because you were busy creating something wonderful of your own.
So here’s to the adventures you create, the stories you write, and the joy you find in the journey. FOMO may be loud, but your life is louder. Go live it!
